#GOD THIS IS SO RAMBLY I APOLOGIZE

[oyasuminto]

Ok, but Argus children after they’re adults (and after some good therapy sessions) looking at their parents clearly abusive marriage, maybe one of them even confronting him about and saying how fucked his relationship with their mother is? Because I don’t think he would take it very nicely!

>:3c perfect time for me to use those fankids I made

Their parents' relationship has always been a matter of contention among the Sullivan siblings.

As the oldest child and, until the twins were born, the only son, Atticus knows all two well what an awful fucking bastard his father is. He's watched Argus beat his mother black and blue, leaving her to sob and scream threats of suicide and murder and murder-suicide from her place on the floor. He can remember all the times his father struck him for stepping out of line, the gasping and sputtering after Argus punched him right in the back, winding him.

He can remember the fear of being choked by his own father, clawing at his hands, and almost passing out before his mother broke a lamp over Argus' back. The ensuing beating was the most violent he'd witnessed up to that point; a broken nose, dried blood matting her dirty blonde hair, and her glasses shattered against her face.

Molly and Carrie, the two oldest daughters, are no less familiar with just how toxic their parents' relationship is. They thought it was normal at first, of course pa has to hit ma, that's just how marriages are.

Molly was the first to realize that wasn't the case. She still cringes remembering the stares she got when she expressed shock that her best friend's mom didn't even get slapped for talking back to her husband. She considers herself lucky for rarely drawing her father's ire. She deflates when she realizes it's only because she was desperate for his approval. No boyfriends, no clothes that wouldn't be approved by a hyper-conservative Catholic school, nightly phone checks, he had to meet all her friends and their parents before she could even text them.

Carrie wasn't so lucky. She swore he was going to have a heart attack the first time she came home with black and purple hair, dark and dramatic make-up, and clothes that would immediately get her dress coded. She still grins whenever she sees that little scar on her dad's cheek. Fucker didn't think her dumb fake nails could do anything. She had to prove him wrong.

Rebecca doesn't know what her siblings are talking about! Sure it's not fun hearing ma and pa fight, but all couples fight, don't they? Besides, pa has always been so sweet! He spent so many hours making portable wooden ramps for Rebecca after she got her wheelchair, and he carries her around whenever there's stairs! He may be overbearing, and maybe it's a little annoying that she's babied more than her sibling... but pa loves her! He tells her that all the time! Ma does, too, she was always telling Rebecca that pa needed to let her grow up, but he just wanted her to be safe, didn't he?

Will and Wendy have always been the babies of the family, even when they no longer were. They'd defend their pa to their dying breaths! He's a great dad, and they don't understand why the oldest three hate him so much! Will only grew more defensive when pa slinked into the house with a black eye and a split lip after one of his and Atticus' regular screaming matches.

Wendy, meanwhile, never thought much of Atticus and Argus' rivalry. She always assumed they were roughhousing, like when she and Will were kids who'd bite and pull each other's hair. Of course as she grew older and began to understand what "fucking abusive piece of shit" and "your ma wanted to abort you" meant, she realized that wasn't the case...

Argus had forbidden any of his kids from seeing a therapist, or even a school guidance counselor. "My fuckin' kids are fine!" He'd say, even as his youngest got sent home after biting three people in one day. "Ain't nothin' wrong with 'em," he'd insist, while his eldest compulsively cheated or dumped his girlfriends as soon as they wanted to get serious.

Sure. The Sullivan kids were totally normal, well-adjusted, all-American youths. What a fucking joke.

Carrie never listened to her father's anti-therapy, anti-psychiatry ramblings about people trying to fuck with his brain and how "none of that shit's even real! They just want y' money!"

Her therapist had their work cut out for them.

Especially when Molly and Atticus began awkwardly hanging around the waiting area, Molly compulsively chewing on her little paper cup and Atticus angrily tapping his foot.

Three siblings, one therapist, and the worst family dynamic most people have ever seen.

The next morning is tense, suffocating, like hands grabbing and squeezing and choking the life out of those present.

How familiar.

"I heard the Edwards' are probably getting divorced." Atticus can feel a set of eyes boring right into his soul. "Yeah, I heard Mrs Edwards was caught in bed with a dashing young blond man."

Argus' utensils loudly clatter against his plate, causing his wife to flinch. "You disgustin' motherfucker."

"Guilty as charged."

"Where the fuck did I go wrong, I thought I taught y'all that cheatin' and shit ain't fuckin' right."

"Please, can we not fight? I don't wanna do this..."

"Shut the fuck up, Cher."

Atticus slams his hands on the table. "At least I don't beat my wife and kids. At least I'll never trap some poor bastard in a shitty loveless marriage. At least I can admit I'm a piece of shit."

The enraged glare Atticus receives is almost enough to make him cower, almost. He's not a scared little kid any more. He's a grown-ass man, one who's only hanging around for the sake of his mother and siblings.

"Outside. Now."

[warning-heckboop]

We're not so different, you and I

Judged by the inexplicable magics at our cores

Or by how we strayed from the paths laid out for us

To live our own lives, and tell our own tales

I can only hope now that yours

Leads to a happier end than mine

((Wolf belongs to @bunnieswithknives))

[sunshowersanddandelionwine]

Okay, cod musical thoughts (not musical au, but an actual mw2 ‘22 musical lmao)

I remember seeing/reading a quote about musical theater one time where it said something to the effect “characters on stage sing when the emotion gets too much to just speak” and just. The themes you can work with just from that alone.

The first time the audience is introduced to ghost, it’s everyone else talking/singing about him. Rumors flying, wildly exaggerated stories, the works. There’s almost this wild, frenetic energy in the characters as they stage-whisper like he’s going to appear out of nowhere.

But as soon as he does show up on stage, all music cuts. No singing. No instruments. Dead silence.

Until Soap appears. Then it’s all brash, upbeat tempo and overwhelming music. Which clearly is at odds with ghost’s whole thing.

And the no music/no singing rule extends through most of the numbers. Ghost never engages with the music, diagetically or non diagetically. He’s entirely separate from that entire world. He’s keeping himself emotionally distant from that entire world.

At least, up until the act 1 finale and the graves betrayal.

Act 2 starts with just soap, not even singing. Until ghost makes contact and they start their banter. And the audience doesnt really notice until partway through that there’s another voice. It’s quiet, and almost impossible to hear, but it’s there. Ghost is singing harmony. He’s reaching out for the very first time.

It culminates in their meeting at the church where the two of them sing a duet (and, in my head, singing each other’s leitmotifs because I’m a ghoap girlie first and a human second).

Ghost’s only solo is that moment on top of the building in Chicago. Time stops, and it’s just him and the audience. And he bares his fucking *soul* to them. The walls are gone. Emotion is overflowing.

He takes the shot and the music cuts. Silence.

“Perfect shot, lt.”

It swells back.

“You called it sergeant.”

[welcometogrouchland]

Noticing that TV and film will often have a character either have had an abortion in the past that isn't showcased on screen (and just used as part of the character's ~fucked up and twisted backstory~) OR contemplate getting an abortion in the present day but not to through with it. Just once I want to see someone delete that fetus within the events of the plot and not be like. Extremely majorly punished for it and/or be in the wrong

[magentagalaxies]

"tour of duty" (the filmed version of their 2002 tour) in general is just kind of a bizarre point for kids in the hall that i haven't really talked to any of them about but is hard not to notice when you look at their entire canon. like it's certainly good - there are some tour-original sketches that i highly enjoy and some live versions of filmed sketches that take a fun creative spin on it, but in general things just feel noticeably strange.

buddy cole specifically tells the fur trappers to "fuck off" (buddy very rarely swears and across all the buddy material i've watched for the documentary he's only said "fuck" 3 times across forty years). danny husk wins an award for being a high school vice principal and at&love isn't acknowledged in the bit. the "is he?" sketch has been revised to pack in as many euphemisms for gay as possible, putting the bit on top of another bit. and of course i have my chicken lady thoughts but i don't want to bias anyone else bc i genuinely want to know what your takes are before i share mine.

and again these aren't all bad choices - i think the danny husk vice principal monologue works really well and may not work as well as a different character despite contradicting the Husk Lore™️. but they're all very distinctive choices

idk there's two reasons i personally give for why tour of duty is so strange (to me at least, maybe other people don't notice). the first is that it comes less than 3 years after their other tour-film, the 1999/2000 tour "same guys new dresses" (also available on youtube!) i fucking love SGND and i'll be up front that it's my preferred kith tour video. but part of what makes SGND so special is that it's not just a recording of the live show, it's a full tour documentary following the guys traveling across the country performing together, occasionally showing full sketches but also delving into the stories behind why the sketches played out the way they did. and, sure, sometimes that means cutting out a sketch that i wish i could've seen in full (rip power of the suburbs) but my life is so much better for having seen the "laser eye surgery gossip" or knowing how much drama that goddamn robot-dog-prop caused.

so to then see tour of duty as a straight-up recording of the live show leaves that element of mystery, that we don't get to know why choices were made because we only see the end result. there was a conscious decision not to shoot tour of duty like SGND - the tour doc didn't do well financially, and they also had more of a reason to document that tour since it was their first time working together since the disastrous fallout of "brain candy," and first big national tour since the show ended. the circumstances were just very different

and that's true both personally and politically bc the second suspected reason for tour of duty's weird tone is you can obviously tell 9/11 just happened. two sketches directly reference it - bruce and mark's businessman characters sell scam patriotic products that are all just a rubber band, and buddy cole visits the middle east and ends up having sex with saddam hussein (tho fun fact this concept was written BEFORE 9/11). but the event casts an obvious shadow, especially since both the buddy cole bit and the danny husk monologue were recycled pieces from scott's cancelled one-man-show which was set to debut in new york city on september 19th 2001.

it's also interesting comparing this to SGND. the late 90s are often remembered through rose-tinted glasses due to a generally good economy in the united states and a lot of the social tensions with disenfranchised groups still bubbling under the surface rather than being talked about openly. SGND doesn't reference contemporary events much, but the closure of AT&Love from the KITH finale is undone since the economy has re-entered "rock-on fashion," and buddy cole comments on the Y2K computer bug being underwhelming. (i also went on a super long tangent on how the original show reflected the socioeconomic climate of the 90s but that's a whole other topic i need to go to bed)

i don't know how the KITH feel about "tour of duty." i can't know how much this strangeness was felt for them backstage, and i think in some regards it can only be picked up on as an outsider, albeit an outsider who has watched so much KITH content to know how their work evolved even when not on television. all in all, i'm glad "tour of duty" exists and even the swings that didn't really land for me are still admirable as creative choices.

it's also cool to analyze as someone who has now been to a KITH live show over 2 decades later and got to see those behind-the-scenes conversations play out. the bellini benefit also featured a lot of strangeness, caused by a limited rehearsal schedule and one of the cast members being unable to attend due to illness, but they absolutely exceeded these limitations to put on a very fun show. we did film the performance and rehearsals and that show is going to be released eventually (i'm not in charge of it but the person who is also works on the buddy cole doc so i'm involved). i don't know if it's going to be presented more like SGND or tour of duty or something completely different, but it'll be cool to be part of KITH live show canon

[xxplastic-cubexx]

what is your favorite thing about charles and your favorite thing about erik? separately, as in what you like most about their characters :]

a devious question this one is, my friend!!! it's hard enough for me to explain my thoughts cohesively, but having to pick ONE thing i particularly love is difficult. with characters like charles and erik, theres been so much done with their characters over the decades and so they have so many components to them that make them so interesting and fun to observe. BUT I TRY FOR YOU TODAY. under the cut i kinda ramble and the size of this text box makin me anxious

i think if i were to be simple and broad, what i enjoy most about charles is his determination to help others, even if he isn't really thanked and/or if people don't even like him. ofc, this isn't to say he hasn't done wrong- to be honest, the fact he does wrong/questionable things at times is another aspect of him i really enjoy, maybe because- broadly speaking- he's meant to be altruistic (intent vs outcome and all that). i don't know if that's super exciting to most people, but it is for me

as for erik, my reason for liking him is easier to explain tbh. To Be Simple And Broad, his progression from villain to antihero over the decades has been fun to observe (as much as i have so far anyhow) and analyze. i think to be a bit more specific, him using his rage and pain as justifications for his villainous actions is definitely what compels me the most: hurt people hurt and the sort, an idea i've always found interesting (something something vicious cycles and the like). yet now, he recognizes this wasn't really. A Just Thing To Do and is beginning to change that, which i enjoy

[cry-ptidd]

I don’t really see Laura as evil, if someone was evil they wouldn’t ya know feel some remorse or feel terrible at the shit they done. They would move forward without a care. Laura to me was deeply hurt and took out it on the world with cruel force. She would have continued if she wasn’t stopped, but still. It really calmed her down just a tad bit and kills by orders now. Doesn’t feel bad about it but it does get to her at times. That I do love, i would probably tell her,”so after what happened to you-you just took it out on the world on innocence knowing you were innocent too?hypocritical aren’t we?”yeah i would be lunch.

Yeah she'd probably dislike being called out like that. I mean she's THINKING it but hearing it be said out loud always hurts and monsters are often immature in their ways of solving things.

I REALLY like this character analysis of her. I was a bit skeptical at the first couple words but I agree completely. She's not inherently evil, her mind was irreversibly fucked up by another's doing which broke her view of the world and herself and led her to either hurt herself or others. She chose both but moreso the latter.

When you think about it it's actually a bit hard to categorize her, like Alucard. Yes her crimes are countless and yes she fucking eats people and kids and innocents but she's also like... an animal. Her human instincts have been almost completely overtaken by her new werewolf ones and it's kind of a fucked up situation for her because she'd HAVE to eat human meat to keep her strength (in my werewolf lore hc). It's like vampires, their existence is inherently tied to hurting people, and especially to people (them) getting hurt and changing into something terrible. Seras is the only creature shown in the series that kept her morality because her mental backbone is made out of titanium and Integra rejected that altogether so we love them.

I just REALLY like "wounded predatory animal" type of characters. How much of your instinct is inherent and how can you fight it. Were you pushed to hurt or did you always have it in you and it has an excuse to let out. The aggression that comes with being a terrified creature with only your teeth to defend yourself. Delicious Give me 14 of them right now.

(.) Another note about Laura calming down after getting nearly killed is the realization that people can retaliate even when her attacks are justified in her mind. Yes she knew the concept of paper but never really understood it (like many people that don't even realize it). In her rage she had a "i got hurt, now I hurt them back and the cycle will stop" mentality that was kind of what happened in the abbey, with her killing her abusers and the physical harm stopping because their mangled remains literally inside her guts right now. It was a very childish attitude she had that made the silver bullet more a wake up call than an execution. It didn't really teach her that what she was doing was wrong (she knew it was wrong, all of it, and she still did it, which is very reprehensible and should be condemned), it taught her that hurting innocent humans (or rather, those with loved ones) will result in them retaliating against her.

[luneariann]

Love love love treating this place as my personal diary and totally ignoring the fact that literally everyone can see this

[some-pers0n]

Thank fucking god actually I'm on break right now because if I had to go to lectures and labs and god forbid take tests in this condition I'd be dead on the floor I'm so incredibly serious right now

[opikiquu]

im going to be so annoying all week

[storywestistrash]

i am actually so tired of the way westerners treat eastern europeans

[quailsprout]

just when i thought jayce couldn't get any more peak he instantly and wholly surrenders to viktor on the rooftop when he realizes he is in the very spot where he is destined to fail. and then mind meld psychosex partners "in every timeline" happens. love wins YIPPEE

[chanquokka]

the adhd curse of procrastinating things you know you'd enjoy bcs they feel too much like a commitment even if they r perfect dopamine packets sitting unopened..

[bloos-bloo]

YALL LOOK HOW UGLY MY ART WAS

JUMPSCARE- OLD ASS ART UNDER CUT

THIS WAS BACK IN APRIL-

APRIL-

NOW COMPARED TO LAST TUESDAY- THEY TURNED INTO BAD BITCHES-

[wutheringmights]

New CTB Music (2024 Update)

It's that time of year where I share some of the tracks that I added to my personal CTB playlist that have not been mentioned before on this blog (view (2021, 2022, and 2023 updates as well).

Body to Flame - Lucy Dacus 

Longing for your short hair to grow back to the way you like Thank you for the gesture I regret ever implying that you could be better Didn't mean to empty your perfect body And fill it with my passing will

Hate Me - Miley Cyrus

Go ahead, you can say that I've changed Just say it to my face One drink and I'm back to that place The memories won't fade

Is It Over Now? - Taylor Swift

"Come here, " I whispered in your ear In your dream as you passed out, baby Was it over then? And is it over now?

Halloween - Noah Kahan

But the wreckage of you, I no longer reside in And the bridges have long since been burned The ash of the home that I started the fire in It starts to return to the Earth I'm leavin' this town and I'm changin' my address I know that you'll come if you want It's not Halloween, but the ghost you're dressed up as Sure knows how to haunt, yeah, she knows how to haunt

Growing Sideways - Noah Kahan

But I ignore things, and I move sideways Until I forget what I felt in the first place At the end of the day I know there are worse ways To stay alive 'Cause everyone's growing and everyone's healthy I'm terrified that I might never have met me

Orange Juice - Noah Kahan

You said my heart has changed and my soul has changed And my heart, and my heart That my life has changed, that this town had changed And you had not That the world has changed, don't you find it strange That you just went ahead and carried on?

I Remember Everything - Zach Bryan

Strained words come on out Of a grown man's mouth when his mind's broke Pictures and passin' time You only smile like that when you're drinking

Figure 8 - Paramore

All for your sake Became the very thing that I hate I lost my way Spinning in an endless figure eight

Let You Down - Zach Bryan & Kacey Musgraves

I'll let you down darlin', down babe Just like I did before You'll just keep on slammin' closed hollow unlocked doors I'll let you down darlin', down babe Just like times before You'll just keep on crawin' back and beggin' me for more

No One Else to Blame - Madison Cunningham

For the burden and the stress For the heartache and the mess you entertain You put your money down on which part of you is next To slip down the drain with nothing, nowhere and no one No one else to blame

Golden Age - Ethel Cain 

Do you just want my blood? Am I just that damn hard to love? 'Cause it feels like all I have is still just not enough I guess that I'll just go outside and watch the fire And fields of gold fly farther away from me

Dawns - Zach Bryan & Maggie Rogers

Give me my dawns back Everything that dies makes its way back I lost her last July in a heart attack I need one small victory

Crave - Paramore

I romanticize even the worst of times When all it took to make me cry was being alive Look up and see a reflection Of someone who never gave way to the pain What if I told 'em that now that I'm older There isn't a moment that I'd wanna change?

Your Hate Could Power a Train - Madison Cunningham

I'm not messin' around, not ready to laugh about it I don't worship the ground that's holdin' you I think it's wrong, the way you harm But no one ever looks too hard at it What does it say about you? Your hate could power a train

Head In the Wall - Ethel Cain

Sometimes you make wanna put my fucking head through the wall Sometimes I wonder if I even know you at all

thousand eyes - FKA Twigs 

If I walk out the door, it starts our last goodbye If you don't pull me back, it wakes a thousand eyes

teenage dream - Olivia Rodrigo 

They all say that it gets better, it gets better the more you grow Yeah, they all say that it gets better, it gets better, but what if I don't?

You First - Paramore 

Everyone is a bad guy And there's no way, no way to know Who's the worst Karma's gonna come for all of us And I hope, well, I hope, I just hope She comes, comes for you first, oh

Vampire Smile - Kyla La Grange

I want a scar that looks just like you, 'Til then I gotta learn to be a wiser fool.

[unjorts]

i am absolutely gnawing at the bars of my enclosure rn. on my cr c3 catch-up and i just finished ep 91 and 92 im LOSING IT !!!! that was so good but also ?? ???? crown keepers ???? my beloveds ?????? hello ?????????

if (key word: if) the crown keepers survive this i hope they meet with the bells hells :) i just think they're neat :)

idk fearne meeting morrighan who has a past intertwined/linked to morrigan the fatesticher ? i wanna get into /that/ fun little plot point. and the hells meeting opal ?? dorym reunion ?? better yet, the chetney-dorian reunion ?? ugh i can't wait,, it's gonna be a mess. i love these two adventuring parties with my entire heart. doomed-by-the-narrative groups are so ,, mwah. chefs kiss.

anyway speaking of doomed-by-the-narrative,, god that whole scene with fcg's sacrifice actually kinda fucked me up a lil. like,, i was already spoiled by twt notifs (through no one's fault but my own i completely forgot to mute them lmao) but BOY OH BOY DID IT NOT LESSEN THE EMOTIONAL IMPACT AT ALL. if anything it made the entire catch-up worse /pos

(the part in the shattered teeth where they were talking to jirana :( they were gonna have another therapy session :( AND FRIDA OH GOD :(((( love letters :( )

and you're telling me i have to wait?? until friday???? criminal offense, honestly. (i know they say thursday but ahaha asian moment)