#GOD THIS IS SO RAMBLY I APOLOGIZE

[oyasuminto]

Ok, but Argus children after they’re adults (and after some good therapy sessions) looking at their parents clearly abusive marriage, maybe one of them even confronting him about and saying how fucked his relationship with their mother is? Because I don’t think he would take it very nicely!

>:3c perfect time for me to use those fankids I made

Their parents' relationship has always been a matter of contention among the Sullivan siblings.

As the oldest child and, until the twins were born, the only son, Atticus knows all two well what an awful fucking bastard his father is. He's watched Argus beat his mother black and blue, leaving her to sob and scream threats of suicide and murder and murder-suicide from her place on the floor. He can remember all the times his father struck him for stepping out of line, the gasping and sputtering after Argus punched him right in the back, winding him.

He can remember the fear of being choked by his own father, clawing at his hands, and almost passing out before his mother broke a lamp over Argus' back. The ensuing beating was the most violent he'd witnessed up to that point; a broken nose, dried blood matting her dirty blonde hair, and her glasses shattered against her face.

Molly and Carrie, the two oldest daughters, are no less familiar with just how toxic their parents' relationship is. They thought it was normal at first, of course pa has to hit ma, that's just how marriages are.

Molly was the first to realize that wasn't the case. She still cringes remembering the stares she got when she expressed shock that her best friend's mom didn't even get slapped for talking back to her husband. She considers herself lucky for rarely drawing her father's ire. She deflates when she realizes it's only because she was desperate for his approval. No boyfriends, no clothes that wouldn't be approved by a hyper-conservative Catholic school, nightly phone checks, he had to meet all her friends and their parents before she could even text them.

Carrie wasn't so lucky. She swore he was going to have a heart attack the first time she came home with black and purple hair, dark and dramatic make-up, and clothes that would immediately get her dress coded. She still grins whenever she sees that little scar on her dad's cheek. Fucker didn't think her dumb fake nails could do anything. She had to prove him wrong.

Rebecca doesn't know what her siblings are talking about! Sure it's not fun hearing ma and pa fight, but all couples fight, don't they? Besides, pa has always been so sweet! He spent so many hours making portable wooden ramps for Rebecca after she got her wheelchair, and he carries her around whenever there's stairs! He may be overbearing, and maybe it's a little annoying that she's babied more than her sibling... but pa loves her! He tells her that all the time! Ma does, too, she was always telling Rebecca that pa needed to let her grow up, but he just wanted her to be safe, didn't he?

Will and Wendy have always been the babies of the family, even when they no longer were. They'd defend their pa to their dying breaths! He's a great dad, and they don't understand why the oldest three hate him so much! Will only grew more defensive when pa slinked into the house with a black eye and a split lip after one of his and Atticus' regular screaming matches.

Wendy, meanwhile, never thought much of Atticus and Argus' rivalry. She always assumed they were roughhousing, like when she and Will were kids who'd bite and pull each other's hair. Of course as she grew older and began to understand what "fucking abusive piece of shit" and "your ma wanted to abort you" meant, she realized that wasn't the case...

Argus had forbidden any of his kids from seeing a therapist, or even a school guidance counselor. "My fuckin' kids are fine!" He'd say, even as his youngest got sent home after biting three people in one day. "Ain't nothin' wrong with 'em," he'd insist, while his eldest compulsively cheated or dumped his girlfriends as soon as they wanted to get serious.

Sure. The Sullivan kids were totally normal, well-adjusted, all-American youths. What a fucking joke.

Carrie never listened to her father's anti-therapy, anti-psychiatry ramblings about people trying to fuck with his brain and how "none of that shit's even real! They just want y' money!"

Her therapist had their work cut out for them.

Especially when Molly and Atticus began awkwardly hanging around the waiting area, Molly compulsively chewing on her little paper cup and Atticus angrily tapping his foot.

Three siblings, one therapist, and the worst family dynamic most people have ever seen.

The next morning is tense, suffocating, like hands grabbing and squeezing and choking the life out of those present.

How familiar.

"I heard the Edwards' are probably getting divorced." Atticus can feel a set of eyes boring right into his soul. "Yeah, I heard Mrs Edwards was caught in bed with a dashing young blond man."

Argus' utensils loudly clatter against his plate, causing his wife to flinch. "You disgustin' motherfucker."

"Guilty as charged."

"Where the fuck did I go wrong, I thought I taught y'all that cheatin' and shit ain't fuckin' right."

"Please, can we not fight? I don't wanna do this..."

"Shut the fuck up, Cher."

Atticus slams his hands on the table. "At least I don't beat my wife and kids. At least I'll never trap some poor bastard in a shitty loveless marriage. At least I can admit I'm a piece of shit."

The enraged glare Atticus receives is almost enough to make him cower, almost. He's not a scared little kid any more. He's a grown-ass man, one who's only hanging around for the sake of his mother and siblings.

"Outside. Now."

[warning-heckboop]

We're not so different, you and I

Judged by the inexplicable magics at our cores

Or by how we strayed from the paths laid out for us

To live our own lives, and tell our own tales

I can only hope now that yours

Leads to a happier end than mine

((Wolf belongs to @bunnieswithknives))

[sunshowersanddandelionwine]

Okay, cod musical thoughts (not musical au, but an actual mw2 ‘22 musical lmao)

I remember seeing/reading a quote about musical theater one time where it said something to the effect “characters on stage sing when the emotion gets too much to just speak” and just. The themes you can work with just from that alone.

The first time the audience is introduced to ghost, it’s everyone else talking/singing about him. Rumors flying, wildly exaggerated stories, the works. There’s almost this wild, frenetic energy in the characters as they stage-whisper like he’s going to appear out of nowhere.

But as soon as he does show up on stage, all music cuts. No singing. No instruments. Dead silence.

Until Soap appears. Then it’s all brash, upbeat tempo and overwhelming music. Which clearly is at odds with ghost’s whole thing.

And the no music/no singing rule extends through most of the numbers. Ghost never engages with the music, diagetically or non diagetically. He’s entirely separate from that entire world. He’s keeping himself emotionally distant from that entire world.

At least, up until the act 1 finale and the graves betrayal.

Act 2 starts with just soap, not even singing. Until ghost makes contact and they start their banter. And the audience doesnt really notice until partway through that there’s another voice. It’s quiet, and almost impossible to hear, but it’s there. Ghost is singing harmony. He’s reaching out for the very first time.

It culminates in their meeting at the church where the two of them sing a duet (and, in my head, singing each other’s leitmotifs because I’m a ghoap girlie first and a human second).

Ghost’s only solo is that moment on top of the building in Chicago. Time stops, and it’s just him and the audience. And he bares his fucking *soul* to them. The walls are gone. Emotion is overflowing.

He takes the shot and the music cuts. Silence.

“Perfect shot, lt.”

It swells back.

“You called it sergeant.”

[xxplastic-cubexx]

what is your favorite thing about charles and your favorite thing about erik? separately, as in what you like most about their characters :]

a devious question this one is, my friend!!! it's hard enough for me to explain my thoughts cohesively, but having to pick ONE thing i particularly love is difficult. with characters like charles and erik, theres been so much done with their characters over the decades and so they have so many components to them that make them so interesting and fun to observe. BUT I TRY FOR YOU TODAY. under the cut i kinda ramble and the size of this text box makin me anxious

i think if i were to be simple and broad, what i enjoy most about charles is his determination to help others, even if he isn't really thanked and/or if people don't even like him. ofc, this isn't to say he hasn't done wrong- to be honest, the fact he does wrong/questionable things at times is another aspect of him i really enjoy, maybe because- broadly speaking- he's meant to be altruistic (intent vs outcome and all that). i don't know if that's super exciting to most people, but it is for me

as for erik, my reason for liking him is easier to explain tbh. To Be Simple And Broad, his progression from villain to antihero over the decades has been fun to observe (as much as i have so far anyhow) and analyze. i think to be a bit more specific, him using his rage and pain as justifications for his villainous actions is definitely what compels me the most: hurt people hurt and the sort, an idea i've always found interesting (something something vicious cycles and the like). yet now, he recognizes this wasn't really. A Just Thing To Do and is beginning to change that, which i enjoy

[cry-ptidd]

I don’t really see Laura as evil, if someone was evil they wouldn’t ya know feel some remorse or feel terrible at the shit they done. They would move forward without a care. Laura to me was deeply hurt and took out it on the world with cruel force. She would have continued if she wasn’t stopped, but still. It really calmed her down just a tad bit and kills by orders now. Doesn’t feel bad about it but it does get to her at times. That I do love, i would probably tell her,”so after what happened to you-you just took it out on the world on innocence knowing you were innocent too?hypocritical aren’t we?”yeah i would be lunch.

Yeah she'd probably dislike being called out like that. I mean she's THINKING it but hearing it be said out loud always hurts and monsters are often immature in their ways of solving things.

I REALLY like this character analysis of her. I was a bit skeptical at the first couple words but I agree completely. She's not inherently evil, her mind was irreversibly fucked up by another's doing which broke her view of the world and herself and led her to either hurt herself or others. She chose both but moreso the latter.

When you think about it it's actually a bit hard to categorize her, like Alucard. Yes her crimes are countless and yes she fucking eats people and kids and innocents but she's also like... an animal. Her human instincts have been almost completely overtaken by her new werewolf ones and it's kind of a fucked up situation for her because she'd HAVE to eat human meat to keep her strength (in my werewolf lore hc). It's like vampires, their existence is inherently tied to hurting people, and especially to people (them) getting hurt and changing into something terrible. Seras is the only creature shown in the series that kept her morality because her mental backbone is made out of titanium and Integra rejected that altogether so we love them.

I just REALLY like "wounded predatory animal" type of characters. How much of your instinct is inherent and how can you fight it. Were you pushed to hurt or did you always have it in you and it has an excuse to let out. The aggression that comes with being a terrified creature with only your teeth to defend yourself. Delicious Give me 14 of them right now.

(.) Another note about Laura calming down after getting nearly killed is the realization that people can retaliate even when her attacks are justified in her mind. Yes she knew the concept of paper but never really understood it (like many people that don't even realize it). In her rage she had a "i got hurt, now I hurt them back and the cycle will stop" mentality that was kind of what happened in the abbey, with her killing her abusers and the physical harm stopping because their mangled remains literally inside her guts right now. It was a very childish attitude she had that made the silver bullet more a wake up call than an execution. It didn't really teach her that what she was doing was wrong (she knew it was wrong, all of it, and she still did it, which is very reprehensible and should be condemned), it taught her that hurting innocent humans (or rather, those with loved ones) will result in them retaliating against her.

[luneariann]

Love love love treating this place as my personal diary and totally ignoring the fact that literally everyone can see this

[storywestistrash]

i am actually so tired of the way westerners treat eastern europeans

[chanquokka]

the adhd curse of procrastinating things you know you'd enjoy bcs they feel too much like a commitment even if they r perfect dopamine packets sitting unopened..

[opikiquu]

im going to be so annoying all week

[wutheringmights]

New CTB Music (2024 Update)

It's that time of year where I share some of the tracks that I added to my personal CTB playlist that have not been mentioned before on this blog (view (2021, 2022, and 2023 updates as well).

Body to Flame - Lucy Dacus 

Longing for your short hair to grow back to the way you like Thank you for the gesture I regret ever implying that you could be better Didn't mean to empty your perfect body And fill it with my passing will

Hate Me - Miley Cyrus

Go ahead, you can say that I've changed Just say it to my face One drink and I'm back to that place The memories won't fade

Is It Over Now? - Taylor Swift

"Come here, " I whispered in your ear In your dream as you passed out, baby Was it over then? And is it over now?

Halloween - Noah Kahan

But the wreckage of you, I no longer reside in And the bridges have long since been burned The ash of the home that I started the fire in It starts to return to the Earth I'm leavin' this town and I'm changin' my address I know that you'll come if you want It's not Halloween, but the ghost you're dressed up as Sure knows how to haunt, yeah, she knows how to haunt

Growing Sideways - Noah Kahan

But I ignore things, and I move sideways Until I forget what I felt in the first place At the end of the day I know there are worse ways To stay alive 'Cause everyone's growing and everyone's healthy I'm terrified that I might never have met me

Orange Juice - Noah Kahan

You said my heart has changed and my soul has changed And my heart, and my heart That my life has changed, that this town had changed And you had not That the world has changed, don't you find it strange That you just went ahead and carried on?

I Remember Everything - Zach Bryan

Strained words come on out Of a grown man's mouth when his mind's broke Pictures and passin' time You only smile like that when you're drinking

Figure 8 - Paramore

All for your sake Became the very thing that I hate I lost my way Spinning in an endless figure eight

Let You Down - Zach Bryan & Kacey Musgraves

I'll let you down darlin', down babe Just like I did before You'll just keep on slammin' closed hollow unlocked doors I'll let you down darlin', down babe Just like times before You'll just keep on crawin' back and beggin' me for more

No One Else to Blame - Madison Cunningham

For the burden and the stress For the heartache and the mess you entertain You put your money down on which part of you is next To slip down the drain with nothing, nowhere and no one No one else to blame

Golden Age - Ethel Cain 

Do you just want my blood? Am I just that damn hard to love? 'Cause it feels like all I have is still just not enough I guess that I'll just go outside and watch the fire And fields of gold fly farther away from me

Dawns - Zach Bryan & Maggie Rogers

Give me my dawns back Everything that dies makes its way back I lost her last July in a heart attack I need one small victory

Crave - Paramore

I romanticize even the worst of times When all it took to make me cry was being alive Look up and see a reflection Of someone who never gave way to the pain What if I told 'em that now that I'm older There isn't a moment that I'd wanna change?

Your Hate Could Power a Train - Madison Cunningham

I'm not messin' around, not ready to laugh about it I don't worship the ground that's holdin' you I think it's wrong, the way you harm But no one ever looks too hard at it What does it say about you? Your hate could power a train

Head In the Wall - Ethel Cain

Sometimes you make wanna put my fucking head through the wall Sometimes I wonder if I even know you at all

thousand eyes - FKA Twigs 

If I walk out the door, it starts our last goodbye If you don't pull me back, it wakes a thousand eyes

teenage dream - Olivia Rodrigo 

They all say that it gets better, it gets better the more you grow Yeah, they all say that it gets better, it gets better, but what if I don't?

You First - Paramore 

Everyone is a bad guy And there's no way, no way to know Who's the worst Karma's gonna come for all of us And I hope, well, I hope, I just hope She comes, comes for you first, oh

Vampire Smile - Kyla La Grange

I want a scar that looks just like you, 'Til then I gotta learn to be a wiser fool.

[unjorts]

i am absolutely gnawing at the bars of my enclosure rn. on my cr c3 catch-up and i just finished ep 91 and 92 im LOSING IT !!!! that was so good but also ?? ???? crown keepers ???? my beloveds ?????? hello ?????????

if (key word: if) the crown keepers survive this i hope they meet with the bells hells :) i just think they're neat :)

idk fearne meeting morrighan who has a past intertwined/linked to morrigan the fatesticher ? i wanna get into /that/ fun little plot point. and the hells meeting opal ?? dorym reunion ?? better yet, the chetney-dorian reunion ?? ugh i can't wait,, it's gonna be a mess. i love these two adventuring parties with my entire heart. doomed-by-the-narrative groups are so ,, mwah. chefs kiss.

anyway speaking of doomed-by-the-narrative,, god that whole scene with fcg's sacrifice actually kinda fucked me up a lil. like,, i was already spoiled by twt notifs (through no one's fault but my own i completely forgot to mute them lmao) but BOY OH BOY DID IT NOT LESSEN THE EMOTIONAL IMPACT AT ALL. if anything it made the entire catch-up worse /pos

(the part in the shattered teeth where they were talking to jirana :( they were gonna have another therapy session :( AND FRIDA OH GOD :(((( love letters :( )

and you're telling me i have to wait?? until friday???? criminal offense, honestly. (i know they say thursday but ahaha asian moment)

[mediocre-noodle]

the conversations charlie had after the debate were genuinely the most refreshing thing ive seen in so long lmao

like after all the chaos and miscommunication and division between the candidates, we got some genuinely nice and chill discussions about the politics on the server

slime bad and baghera are a trio i never knew i wanted but got do i know i need them now

[oh-no-its-bird]

Adjusting my glasses and squinting at my ask box

One of you guys REALLY wants edo tensei tobirama huh

[minecraftbookshelf]

Fic Snippet: Complicated Relationships

Religious trauma comes in some interesting flavors when gods walk among you.

random little snippet from The AU In Which All the Marriages Are Arranged that i thought y'all might like

~500 words, canon-typical gods and possession talk, also some referenced murder.

-

Xornoth had been inside Aeor's church exactly once since...since Everything.

It had been the night they'd taken the throne; once they'd talked Scott down from his panic enough to sleep they'd left him in the palace and gone straight to the church. They'd thrown the door open and stormed across the threshold and up the aisle to the altar. Lurching side to side with exhaustion and unfamiliarity with the added gangliness they'd gained from their most recent growth spurt. Trailing mud and blood and the smell of the soot and smoke that was all that remained of their parents' corpses.

The few priests still there had scattered. Even those who had taken their side. Xornoth had ripped the crown from between their antlers and slammed it down on the fine woolen altar cloth, staining the white and gold with the rusty-brown of old blood. Their father's blood.

"If he ever hears your voice the way I hear Exor's," Xornoth had proclaimed through gritted teeth, the heat gathered at their fingertips singeing the fabric. "Then I will burn this place to the ground, grind the ashes into the midden, and turn that statue of yours out there into so much dust."

That's not how it works, you fool! The demon in their head roared in rage, You cannot escape me. And he cannot escape my brother. It is fate! Balance! A Battle forever locked!

Xornoth did not look away from the golden antler crest above the altar. "Do you understand me, Aeor?"

There was no response in words but the atmosphere in the sanctuary shifted, the few candles still lit flickering as if bent by a breeze. A vague sense of acknowledgement rolled over Xornoth's soul and they took the choked off anger from the place in the back of their mind where Exor dwelt to mean it was an affirmative.

Xornoth had never been an elf of many words. They left the heat-warped crown there on the altar, glistening golden in the low lights.

And Scott's mind had always been his own.

His mind but not, apparently, his life, Xornoth thought as, decades later, they once again stood on those same, flawless quartz stairs, a different crown for the same kingdom settled between their antlers, a weight rendered almost invisible from familiarity.

And whose fault is that? Exor sneered. Xornoth ignored him. Turning on their heel to jab a finger at the back of the stag statue's head.

"If I step foot in here and you smite me, Scott will be sad. And he'll have to be king and then he'll never have a full nights sleep ever again and you know it."

They pause a moment. There is no response but there is no roll of thunder either or sudden stormhead over the mountains, so that is probably as good as Xornoth is going to get.

Enough procrastinating. They have a brother to apologize to.

-

AU Masterpost

[dbphantom]

Hate having adhd went to go work on my fallout modpack, got distracted while going to disable the steam overlay, ended up in the points shop, went to go edit my profile, decided to change my pfp, found a buried folder I forgot existed, found some old Veneer art I forgot existed, spent 45 minutes looking at all the old photos, STILL HAVE NOT TOGGLED ONE SIMPLE OPTION THAT SHOULD'VE TAKEN 30 SECONDS AT MOST

[tudirkulosis]

"i'm your man" belongs to edgeworth. "i'm your man" is a perfect representation of edgeworth's reflection on the turnabout goodbyes case. i'm your man is the perfect illustration of edgeworth's feelings both about himself and phoenix at the end of aa1. just please hear me out.

without further ado here is my somewhat unhinged analysis of edgeworth's mind in between turnabout goodbyes and rise from the ashes using lyrics from mitski's new song "i'm your man" as reference.

"you're an angel and i'm a dog"

edgeworth is obviously in a very bad place mentally after being arrested. he has to relive and reevaluate the source of his trauma on top of having everyone who looked up to him / liked him turn on him. but like a guardian angel, phoenix comes down to help him when no one else will. he, as edgeworth will repeatedly remind us in-game, "saved him." but why, he thinks, would an angel like phoenix care to save something so insignificant as a dog like him?

"or you are a dog and i'm your man"

now we flip the narrative... kind of. or rather recontextualize it. phoenix wright is completely devoted to miles edgeworth in the same way that one might compare a dog to its man. "man's best friend" is the embodiment of phoenix wright, it doesnt matter that they didn't talk for so many years and it doesn't matter that when they did reconnect in court there was some initial animosity. the fact of the matter is that phoenix's utter dedication to edgeworth's wellbeing transcends time, like a loyal dog ready to give pure unconditional love.

"you believe me like a god"

going back to turnabout goodbyes, pretty much everyone has given up on edgeworth, including edgeworth. and yet, even when edgeworth was literally confessing to the murder of his father, phoenix still truly believes in edgeworth's innocence. phoenix's worship, his complete devotion to this man he hasn't spoken with in over 15 years, would seem absurd to any onlooker. hell, these men are rivals. ("right nick? rivals!") and yet, as if belonging to a religious fanatic, phoenix's faith in edgeworth never falters. this, to repeat my previous wording, further recontextualizes the first statement. edgeworth is a dog. he sees himself in an extremely negative light, completely undeserving of the label "god." nothing makes sense about phoenix. what redeeming qualities could miles edgeworth, fallen prosecutor and murderer, possibly have that such a divine (angelic) man like phoenix would put faith into him?

"i destroy you like i am"

it would be easy to say that this is about their battles in court but lets be fr. edgeworth was definitely not doing any destroying during his cases against phoenix. rather i think we can delve deeper into edgeworth's self-loathing and feelings of inadequacy.

would it be oversimplifying things to say that phoenix became a lawyer solely for edgeworth? no sure. obviously there were some other factors. but like... bffr. the main reason was undeniably edgeworth. this isn't debatable lol. and i think edgeworth, oblivious as he may be to literally anything else, knows this. he knows this and thinks it makes him a burden. he is not worth the stress, the work, the dedication, and especially not the love of phoenix wright. in somewhat of a self-aggrandizing manner, he thinks he's destroying phoenix's life by forcing him to spend so much time and effort saving him.

"i'm sorry i'm the one you love"

pretty self explanatory. edgeworth cannot possibly comprehend the fact that he is deserving of love. he is not in a position to accept phoenix's love, hell, he was not in a position to accept phoenix's help at the start of the trial—how could he possibly accept the love of an angel who treats his dog self like a god? (pretend that was profound or smth idk) edgeworth hasn't even fully wrapped his head around the full implications of his developing unnecessary feelings towards phoenix. there's no way—even though i think of them both sensed their romantic tension—that they could have ended up in any romantic situation at that point in their relationship. could they have been involved sexually at this point? maybe? i guess so? but romantic?? no way, they're both wayyyy too emotionally constipated for that shit.

"no one will ever love me like you again"

he's right. im kind of a broken record at this point but phoenix's dedication is simply too much for edgeworth at this time. there's just no way edgeworth can feel good about himself after everything he's done / thinks he's done to phoenix.

"so when you leave me i should die / i deserve it don't i"

i recently saw a post where someone said the reason miles didn't tell phoenix abt dl-6 initially was because he couldn't risk losing phoenix's trust. i mostly agree, but i think part of it was to protect phoenix and not cause any more work for him. edgeworth knows how deep dl-6 goes, how weird and convoluted it was; and i think he especially knows that he would feel even worse about himself if he threw such a heavy case onto phoenix. but phoenix is stubborn and miles knows this. once phoenix is set on saving him there's nothing more for him to do other than tell the truth. (or rather, what he perceives to be the truth.)

phoenix saves edgeworth and edgeworth is extremely grateful, but... at the same time he feels like he is only complicating things further between phoenix and himself. not that he would ever express any of this of course. i mean come on, this is aa1 edgeworth, we're getting cryptic gay one liners and that's it.

+ in regards to the whole "choosing death" thing, i think the seed was planted almost immediately after turnabout goodbyes and the events of rise from the ashes were just the catalyst for him to actually act on them. both cases involve edgeworth having an identity crisis; while phoenix just fucking existing in his vicinity lowkey started said crisis turnabout samurai is when we really see the relationship between them develope. (i don't think i have to say why *cough* "saddled with unnecessary... feelings" *cough cough* ) this is the beginning of edgeworth's growing trust, admiration, and eventual love for wright.

"i can feel it getting near / like flashlights coming down the way"

"it" is the truth. as phoenix picks away at the bonkers bullshit insanity of dl-6, he gets closer to discovering what miles is already suspecting, that miles killed gregory edgeworth. but miles values truth above all else and he's willing to risk a guilty verdict in favor of honesty.

i think another reason why he transparent from the beginning was because there was part of him that was projecting his old ways onto phoenix—if he withholds this testimony then phoenix can get another win. this is what he had his own witnesses do in previous trials. but wow! character development! and now edgeworth is trying to do the (w)right thing regardless of the outcome of the trial—he knows telling phoenix about killing gregory will completely fuck up phoenix's case but he needs to anyway because it's the moral thing to do.

but for the billionth time, phoenix has such complete faith in edgeworth anyway that it doesn't fucking matter if he full on admits to killing his dad. because "nuh uh, you're not the kinda guy who'd do that even accidentally"—phoenix. honey. you've only known miles for like a few months in elementary school + spoken like... what, twice in court? you barely fucking know this guy phoenix, and yet you're somehow fucking right and it it turns out he didn't even shoot his father after all? what the fuck parrot. what the fuck phoenix. he's so hopelessly gay for edgeworth like they're so insanely homosexual omfg bruh... idiot gayass lawyers

"one day you'll figure me out"

another double meaning. phoenix already has figured out the truth of the case but not the truth of edgeworth's feelings. edgeworth, having seen phoenix's remarkable ability to discover the truth, falsely assumes he will be able to know things about miles that he has no way of knowing. i think this is why he worded his "suicide note" the way he did. he didn't anticipate that phoenix would refuse to think about it altogether. this is the phoenix who after initially losing edgeworth 15 years ago dedicated so much of his time trying to find out what happened to edgeworth. so it was somewhat reasonable to assume phoenix would try to track him down again. but little did he know that phoenix's grief and heartbreak would overpower any possibility of him finding the truth on his own.

"i'll meet judgment by the hounds"

phoenix, the hound, phoenix, whose dedication to edgeworth borders on stupidity at times, whose love for edgeworth despite all his flaws is a main drive for his career and eventually most of his life...

edgeworth is torn between wanting to live up to phoenix's perception of him and wanting to prove phoenix wrong in his admiration. regardless, phoenix's judgement is at the crux of it all.

furthermore, the actual meaning of the lyric was in reference to being sent to hell. if we go with this interpretation hell could be read as edgeworth's mind in the detention center before the first trial. phoenix's assessment of edgeworth's circumstances and insistance on defending him even when no one else would is another example of his dog-like loyalty.

"people always gave me love / others were never to blame after all"

von karma was basically a second father to young miles. he took this orphan in, showed "compassion," raised him and trained him to be the prosecutor he is today... just so he could pettily watch miles' downfall. i think miles blames himself for letting himself be manipulated by von karma. even though his behavior was a symptom of the 15 years of abuse and manipulation, edgeworth thinks of his younger self as a disgusting reflection of von karma and feels like an awful man for achieving the fame/notoriety he had through von karma's tactics. like imposter syndrome. because he idolized von karma so blindly he thinks he is still somehow responsible for the events of both dl-6 and turnabout goodbyes.

"you believe me like a god / i betray you like a man"

at the end of the day, edgeworth is not a dog or a god. he is literally just some guy. he's human, flawed, emotional; logical, illogical; he's contradictory and complicated and so much more because to be human is to be confusing. to be human is to make mistakes. to edgeworth, this is all completely unacceptable. he can't be "just some guy" if he needs to be a god. especially because it betrays his perception of how phoenix perceives him.

((ik this isn't really supposed to be about rfta but it feels relevant and this is my post so smd i can do what i want) in rfta, when edgeworth wrote his note, he obviously knew how dramatic his diction was and i think there was a tiny part of him that predicted phoenix's real reaction to the letter, but he rationalized that thought away using the justifications i mentioned earlier. he betrayed phoenix by not staying in japanifornia and avoiding facing everything that was happening head on.)

tl;dr: phoenix loves edgeworth but edgeworth hates himself (shocker!!)